One Ticket, Please: The Pleasure of Going on Your Own
How a solo cinema trip, concert or exhibition can help you enjoy your own company and make time for the things you love.
A film finishes its cinema run while everyone is still comparing diaries. An exhibition closes before the promised weekend materialises. Going on your own gives those plans another chance. There is pleasure in choosing the seat, lingering over a painting and discovering how an afternoon unfolds when you can follow your own interests.
10 Top Tips For Planning a Solo Event
- Choose something you already want to see. A film you have been looking forward to gives you a reason to go beyond simply practising being alone.
- Start somewhere familiar. Your usual cinema or a gallery you know can make a first solo outing easier to arrange and enjoy.
- Put it in the diary. Book the ticket or choose a specific afternoon so the idea has a chance of becoming an actual outing.
- Sort out the practical details. Check the route, accessibility and journey home, particularly if the event finishes late.
- Give yourself a comfortable arrival window. Leave enough time to find your seat without building in a long wait you would rather avoid.
- Let your phone stay in your pocket for a while. Look around, read the programme or enjoy your coffee without automatically filling every pause.
- Follow your own pace. Spend twenty minutes with one painting, skip a room or browse the bookshop for as long as you fancy.
- Allow for a slightly awkward beginning. Feeling self-conscious in the foyer does not tell you how much you will enjoy the film.
- Share the experience afterwards if you wish. Send a friend a recommendation or talk about what you saw over dinner.
- Judge the outing honestly. Think about what you enjoyed and what you would change before deciding whether to do it again.
Before the lights go down
You have bought the ticket, found the cinema and collected a drink. Then comes the small stretch of time before the film begins, when everyone else seems to have someone to talk to and you become unusually interested in the details printed on your receipt.
Once the lights dim, there is something else to think about. The opening scene takes over. You settle into your seat, and the business of having arrived alone can become considerably less absorbing.
The hesitation beforehand is familiar enough to have attracted researchers. In their 2015 paper, “Inhibited from Bowling Alone”, Rebecca Ratner and Rebecca Hamilton examined why people hold back from enjoyable public activities when they would be attending alone. Participants anticipated that others might draw unflattering conclusions about their social lives. They also tended to overestimate how much their enjoyment depended on having company.
That leaves a useful possibility to test for yourself. You might enjoy the film far more than you enjoy imagining yourself waiting for it to start.
Choosing something you are interested in helps. If you love photography, an exhibition gives your attention somewhere to go. If a favourite musician is playing nearby, the music offers a good reason to book. There is no obligation to start with a three-course dinner at a table in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
What have you been waiting to book? If something keeps slipping off your calendar because nobody else is available, talk it through with Coach Max. What would make going on your own feel manageable?
An afternoon that follows your interests
Shared outings involve dozens of small negotiations. Someone is hungry. Someone has seen enough ceramics. Someone describes the exhibition as “quite interesting” in a tone that suggests lunch should now become the priority.
Going alone allows you to discover what holds your attention when you can stay as long as you like.
Perhaps you read every caption in the first room and scarcely glance at the next. Perhaps you return to a photograph because a detail has stayed with you. At a concert, you can choose a seat for the sound and the view. At the cinema, you can indulge your enthusiasm for a film nobody in your household particularly wants to watch.
These preferences can get overlooked when plans are usually made collectively. Giving them an occasional afternoon creates room for interests that might otherwise remain on a list.
Cost and effort count, too. A free exhibition, a lunchtime recital or an affordable matinee may fit more comfortably into your week than an elaborate evening out. The outing can be modest enough to arrange without weeks of preparation.
What would you choose? If most of your leisure time follows other people’s preferences, explore your own with Coach Max. Start with the films, places or events you keep noticing and then forgetting to pursue.
Finding a balance you enjoy
People want different amounts of time alone, and those preferences can change with the week they have had.
A 2023 study followed 178 adults through daily diaries over 21 days. More time alone was associated with less stress and a greater sense of autonomy, but also with greater loneliness and lower satisfaction on some days. The latter associations were reduced or absent when solitude felt freely chosen. The researchers found no universal ideal balance between time alone and time with others.
For a solo outing, that invites a straightforward check: does this sound appealing today?
After several days working alone, you may be keen to invite someone along. During a week crowded with conversations and commitments, an hour wandering through an exhibition might sound wonderful. You can make either choice without adopting a permanent identity as someone who “does things alone”.
You can also enjoy the outing and want to talk about it afterwards. A message to a friend, a photograph where permitted or a conversation over supper can become part of the pleasure. Seeing something on your own gives you plenty to bring back.
Make room for something you would enjoy. Talk to Coach Max about one outing you would like to make time for. Consider what appeals, what has delayed it and where it could fit into your week.
The next time a listing catches your eye, you could check your own diary while you have it open. There may be a seat available on an evening that suits you, or a quiet hour before the gallery closes. You can make the booking and look forward to going.