Make Yourself at Home: The Pleasure of Having People Over
How to make inviting friends round feel relaxed, affordable and enjoyable.
Having people over can bring some of the most enjoyable hours of a weekend: a familiar voice in the kitchen, a conversation that continues over coffee and the pleasure of sharing somewhere you feel at home. Keeping the invitation and preparation manageable makes it easier to enjoy those occasions and arrange them more often.
10 Top Tips for Relaxed Hosting
- Choose a simple occasion. Coffee, lunch, an early supper or a shared takeaway gives everyone a clear idea of what you are inviting them to.
- Begin with a manageable number. One or two guests can be a comfortable starting point, particularly when space or energy is limited.
- Decide what you can comfortably spend. Let your budget guide the occasion and the food before you start shopping.
- Serve something familiar. Choose food you have made successfully before, with preparation that fits around the visit.
- Ask about guests’ needs. Check food allergies, dietary requirements and anything that would make access or seating more comfortable.
- Prepare the useful things first. Set out crockery, clear somewhere to sit and complete whatever food preparation can sensibly be done ahead.
- Make the room easy to use. Give people somewhere for their coats, a comfortable seat and a surface for their drink.
- Offer appealing drink choices. Have water and an alcohol-free option available, along with tea or coffee if appropriate.
- Accept specific offers of help. Bringing bread, setting the table or serving drinks can be an easy contribution for someone who wants to join in.
- Plan time to sit down. Arrange the food and preparation so you can spend a substantial part of the visit with your guests.
Send an invitation you can manage
You think about asking a couple of friends over for Saturday lunch. Then you remember the shopping, the washing drying in the spare room and the chair you have been meaning to repair. By the time you have considered the state of the hallway, the message is still unsent.
Try choosing the occasion before deciding how much preparation it requires. Coffee at eleven calls for a different amount of work from dinner for eight. Soup and bread can make a satisfying lunch, especially after a walk. An early supper may suit people who want to be home before the evening gets late.
Make the invitation specific enough to answer: “Would you like to come for lunch on Saturday, around one? I’m making soup and thought it would be lovely to see you.”
If your available time is limited, say so when arranging the visit. Clear expectations help everyone plan transport, family commitments and the rest of their day.
Find a version that fits your weekend Talk your plans through with Coach Max and work out an occasion that suits your time, space and budget.
Cook something you know
There is considerable comfort in recognising what should happen next in a recipe. You know how long the vegetables need, which pan works and whether the dish can wait while someone finishes a story.
Choose a main dish that is easy to serve. A vegetable curry with rice, a generous pasta bake or a pot of soup can provide a straightforward meal. A few accompaniments may be all you need.
Check the cupboard before shopping and decide how much food is reasonable for the number coming.
Ask about dietary needs before settling the menu. For a guest with a food allergy, the Food Standards Agency advises discussing what they can eat, checking ingredient labels and preventing allergen cross-contamination during preparation. Keep packaging available so you can answer questions accurately, and involve your guest if you are unsure.
When somebody offers to bring something, give them a clear suggestion that fits the meal.
Agreeing on bread or a suitable dessert can save duplicated shopping and unnecessary expense.
Make the room comfortable
Walk through the space as though you have just arrived. Where would you put a coat? Is there somewhere to set down a mug? Can everyone sit comfortably and hear the conversation?
These small arrangements are useful places to spend your preparation time. Clear the seats you will use, make the bathroom ready and move anything that makes getting around awkward. If you share your home, agree the plans and preparation with the other people living there.
A small room can work well for a small gathering. Coffee around a low table, lunch at the kitchen counter or a few chairs brought into one room each offer possibilities, depending on guests’ comfort and mobility.
Keep music at a level that allows people to speak easily. Put drinks within reach where practical and show guests where things are. Familiarity with the room can help them settle into the visit.
Spend time at your own table
Research gives some support to the pleasure of eating together. In a UK survey of 2,000 adults, psychologist Robin Dunbar found that people who ate socially more often reported greater happiness, life satisfaction and social support. These findings describe associations; they cannot establish that arranging a meal will produce those outcomes.
At home, the opportunity is straightforward: people have time to talk while sharing something to eat. You can ask about the trip someone mentioned, hear how their new job is going or follow a story beyond the hurried version exchanged in a message.
Give yourself time for those conversations. Put food away when necessary, accept help with clearing and allow the remaining washing-up to wait for a suitable moment. If a guest wants to dry while you wash a few things, the conversation can continue in the kitchen.
Let people enjoy themselves in their own way, too. Someone may be happy listening for a while. Another may have plenty to tell you. There is no need to account for every quiet moment.
Make the next invitation easier
Tell Coach Max what you enjoyed and what took more effort than expected, then use that experience to plan your next get-together.
After everyone has gone, notice which parts you would happily repeat. Perhaps lunch suited your weekend, the familiar recipe worked well or asking a friend to bring dessert made the preparation easier.
You can keep those decisions for another occasion. The next invitation then begins with something you already know how to enjoy, and perhaps with someone saying, as they put on their coat, that you should do it again soon.