What Are You Still Doing Simply Because You’re Good at It?
How recognising the difference between competence and enjoyment can help you make more satisfying choices about work, responsibilities and where your time goes.
Being dependable can bring opportunities, recognition and a steadily expanding list of things people ask us to do. Over time, our abilities can influence how we spend our days so strongly that our interests receive little consideration. Looking carefully at the tasks we perform well, the ones we enjoy and the responsibilities we value can reveal opportunities for change. A conversation, a shared responsibility or a small experiment may be enough to begin.
When being good at something becomes an expectation
Someone asks you to organise the occasion because you always remember the details. A colleague passes you another difficult project because you handled the previous one so well. You agree, partly because the request makes sense and partly because explaining your hesitation would take longer than saying yes.
Being trusted feels good. There is satisfaction in knowing that we can solve a problem, make something happen or spare someone else a difficult afternoon. Over time, those requests can become a familiar part of our role.
Eventually, we may notice that a considerable portion of the week involves things we have become extremely good at doing and rarely look forward to.
How much of that arrangement have we actively chosen? The answer can be surprisingly difficult to find when being capable has become such an established part of how others see us.
Competence is one part of motivation
Psychologists Richard Ryan and Edward Deci’s self-determination theory identifies three basic psychological needs: competence, autonomy and relatedness. In everyday terms, these involve feeling effective, experiencing choice in our actions and feeling connected with others.
That helps explain why performing well may leave some of our needs unmet. We might be highly capable while having little influence over our workload, or feel valued for our output while missing the relationships that make work enjoyable.
Their research also distinguishes doing something for its inherent interest from doing it for a separate outcome. Both can have a worthwhile place in our lives. A task may feel tedious while serving a purpose we deeply value, such as supporting our family or helping a colleague develop. The useful distinction is between recognising that purpose and carrying on without examining whether the arrangement still works.
Which responsibilities would you choose again? Talk to Coach Max about the things people regularly rely on you for. Exploring which you enjoy, which you value and which you would like to change can help clarify where your attention belongs.
Look closely at what you want to change
Before deciding that an entire role has become unsuitable, examine the experience more carefully.
You may enjoy the work itself and dislike the interruptions surrounding it. Perhaps the activity remains satisfying in small amounts but now occupies most of your week.
Consider someone who enjoys helping colleagues solve problems. Being available for constant questions might leave them frustrated, even though teaching remains one of their favourite parts of the job. An agreed mentoring session could preserve that contribution while giving them uninterrupted time for other work.
The same examination can help at home. Organising a shared holiday might be enjoyable when decisions and practical tasks are shared. Becoming responsible for every booking, reminder and missing passport creates a different experience.
Specific observations give a conversation somewhere useful to go. “I’d like us to share the bookings this time” is easier to act on than a general announcement that you are tired of organising everything.
Small adjustments deserve consideration
Researchers Amy Wrzesniewski and Jane Dutton introduced “job crafting” as a framework for understanding how people shape aspects of their work. Their model includes changes to tasks, working relationships and how people understand the contribution they make.
The practical possibilities depend on the role and the freedom available. You might discuss rotating a recurring responsibility, supporting someone else to learn a task or contributing to a project that uses an underdeveloped interest.
Such changes need agreement where they affect colleagues, customers or commitments. Passing on an unwanted task without considering another person’s workload simply relocates the difficulty.
A useful proposal explains what you would like to change, how the work will still be covered and what you could contribute with the time released. That makes your preferences part of a practical discussion.
What could you adjust within your current week? Describe one recurring task to Coach Max, including what makes it demanding and what you would like more time for. Use the conversation to explore a manageable change you could propose or test.
Give unfamiliar interests a fair chance
There is a particular comfort in doing something well. Starting again can involve slower progress, basic questions and work that falls short of our own expectations.
That discomfort deserves some room. If we judge a new activity entirely by the ease of our first attempt, familiar skills will usually win.
Choose an experiment small enough to fit your circumstances. Attend an introductory session, contribute to a different kind of project or spend a little time learning something you keep returning to in conversation. Notice whether the interest survives the experience of actually doing it.
Financial security, caring responsibilities and existing commitments will influence what is possible.
A modest experiment can provide useful information while those foundations remain in place.
Ten Top Tips
- List five things people regularly ask you to do because you do them well.
- Give each task separate scores for enjoyment and confidence, so ability does not automatically stand in for preference.
- Identify the purpose each responsibility serves, including income, care, connection or personal satisfaction.
- Observe the pattern across several days before drawing conclusions from one difficult afternoon.
- Separate the activity from its conditions, including frequency, interruptions, deadlines and support.
- Choose one recurring responsibility to discuss sharing, rotating or adjusting.
- Make a specific proposal that explains how the work will continue to be covered fairly.
- Try one activity you are curious about without expecting yourself to perform well immediately.
- Agree a review point for any change, then consider its effect on you and the people involved.
- Record what you would willingly do again, including worthwhile tasks that require effort.
Let your preferences enter the conversation
The abilities you have developed remain valuable. They can support your livelihood, strengthen relationships and give you choices about what comes next.
Alongside those abilities, your interests deserve to be heard. You can appreciate being trusted and still ask to share a responsibility. You can take pride in your experience and make time to learn something unfamiliar.
Start by noticing one part of the week you would like to adjust. Understanding why it matters, and discussing a workable change, gives you a considered way forward.
What would you like to make more room for? Talk it through with Coach Max, including the commitments you need to protect. Begin with one realistic adjustment that reflects both your circumstances and your interests.